july then

 oh god, what a summer

a beach, a church,
ridiculously expensive dinner checks
to be there, to touch you
heaven so close

so hard to find home, 
so easy to be there

one girl, family, sun, and sea
one boy a nervous stand
one guy and my shaking voice

people sick, people demanding
people worrying, people crying
me standing

one weird message
'highly', when?
pink?

a class, deep talks, 
childhood traumas,
let me know if there's a question

iris on repeat
a gym, a treadmill

some café,
voice shaking
academic discussions, presentations,

what about MI?
what about plastics?
what about tomorrow?

insecurity
more than 1?
not sure what I am doing

july is over
and the air seems salty
and i want to cancell my plans 

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